THE RAPE CULTURE AND WHY MOST MEN ARE GUILTY WITHIN THIS CONTEXT.

source: Carefl.org

I am pleased to write about the rape culture with specific reference to rape indices that emanate from social outings between men and women and why majority of men are guilty for rape or sexual violation within this context.

Foremost, may I point out that as people are called out and “exposed” for rape/sexual violations on the media and the social media today, many men have been nervous and anxious because reading the allegations; they realize that the reports are similar to something they too might have done to a woman. Many men are shocked and scared because they don’t see their actions as rape because it doesn’t reflect the usual running up to a stranger in the bush or actual ambush and forcing her to have sex, that they feel and believe is “true rape”.

The traditional way to get a woman for most men is through social interaction. Get her to go out with you and a few friends, get her a bit tipsy because they believe alcohol will bring out her true feelings for him and then make the move.

source:africacheck.org

Most men then proceed in various different ways to “make the move”. The problem arises when: (1) when he tries to intoxicate the woman to a point where she can no longer consent or (2) try to put her in a compromising position which will force her to have sex with you. The compromising position which most men put women after intoxicating her during a night out is where the rape begins because it takes away her voluntary consent to sex, locking the apartment, driving out and threatening not to drop her back etal.

Coming back to reiterate that most men are shocked when called out for rape on this because they “didn’t run up to her in strange place nor ambush her”. They think that a woman agreeing to chill means he wants to have sex with him and he simply needs to “play it right” in other to sleep with her.

All men who do this are wrong but the act of sleeping with woman through casual hangouts has become so normalized, adopted and approved by most men that they feel they can manipulate or “force” a woman to sleep with them, thereafter with absolute impunity.

This is not for women but for all the men who are scared of being exposed. They have become so comfortable with the dubious ways of getting sex or kiss from a woman which results to violation. It’s also an issue of lack of creativity, laziness and honesty; usually don’t want to get consent the right way. Make your intentions known and communicate properly, define the relationship and respect boundaries. Stop sneaking your way into having sex with her while she’s halfway asleep or tipsy, it is Rapey.

Thank you.

Much love and Light from me to you all, especially victims of sexual abuse and rape.